Some minor life updates (TW: depression)

As I'm listening to someone narrating an excerpt from the new Michael Chabon book (I'm probably gonna skip this one, kinda having my doubts about it), I realized that I haven't done anything for this blog. I have a good reason for it.

I done forgot.

Either way, I went to the doctor a few weeks ago about my moods and health. Turns out that I don't have hypoglycemia (it runs in my family), but my good friend Unipolar Depression has stopped by for another visit (makes this the fourth time in six years, the annoying git). Because of the latter, I was put back on antidepressants for the first time since I was last diagnosed at nineteen. Unlike last time, I will be on these pills for about six months to a year. Oh well. But if I'm having depressive episodes four times in a six-year period, I think I may need a little medicinal help.

I'm currently not seeking a therapist, mainly due to financial issues, but also don't need one at this time. I am feeling much better than before, the past almost like it never happened. It was like "whoa, I was upset about all this? Odd." That's the funny thing about being depressed, you forget about it after it goes away and doesn't come back until it feels like it. I read a while back about someone's struggle with depression and likened it to a persistent cold. That's a pretty damn accurate description.

So yeah, I've been dealing with the blues for a while. Whenever some major event comes up and it stresses me out to a breaking point, it usually triggers depression. My mom thinks that my menstrual period has a role in this, due to my PMSing prior to the depressive episode. I wouldn't be shocked; heavy and psychologically-damaging periods also run in my family.

I'm waiting on the next period to see if it is part of the problem. But knowing my family history and even my past history with my menstrual flows, I think I have my answer.

~

All that aside, I am doing very well. Just working, reading, and writing. I got to spend time with my mom over the weekend. She got this job as a maintenance host at a nearby state park; she gets to stay at the park for free, so I went over to keep her company. It was the first time I went camping in over five years. I forgot how much fun it was.

Sorry for the long silence, y'all. We'll be getting back to things in time. Take care!

P.S.: If you or a loved one is dealing with depression, do not hesitate to ask for help. There is hope for you. There are medicines, there are therapists. It is hard to admit that you need help, but it is the bravest thing you could ever do. I've been living with it for five years and made peace with it. If I, a sometimes self-loathing neurotic and nervous young woman, can do it; so can you!