Yeah, to be honest, I'm blaming the lack of posts on no motivation and getting used to being on antidepressants. It is weird to be (somewhat) dependent on a drug to manage my moods. I've been doing okay, been hit hard by my period. So yeah, that will make things more fun for now on.
Either way, it hasn't been easy to get back into the swing of things. I'm on the hunt for a full-time job and it's not going well at all. Haven't heard a thing and I start thinking it's me, that I'm under-qualified and not worthy of a good-paying job. It makes me wonder how much longer I'll be stuck in retail. Will I have to work another Christmas? What am I doing wrong? Is it internships until I get blue in the face? The worst thing is that I know I'm not the only one, but others that I know are succeeding. What are they doing right? Is it pure luck? Or do they have something I don't? Personally, I don't want to think about it right now. It'll just make me sad.
I know that Jupiter_Nova hasn't been updated in a long time. Please don't remind me. It's already upsetting to see the "last posted" date.
As for writing, it's been a challenge to even sit down and write something, much less a blog entry. Reading? Forget about it. I have too many books. Finances aren't getting better. I'm starting to think that this is going to be the rest of my life. Being eternally immature, living with her parents, working retail, and dreams of being a writer instead of actually doing it.
But I can't do this to myself. I worked hard to get through that depressive episode, so I could live again. I know that it won't be easy, but I have no choice. I didn't regain control of my life only to lose it again.
I'm gonna have to do this. I apologize for my speed, but things will be getting back... well, not to normal, but I'll be at least posting more often and doing other things.
Until next time!
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