Well, I figured this would happen...

After thinking about it, and realizing I had a lot of things to do, I decided not to participate in this year's NaNoWriMo. I'm itching to work on the new project (which I had trouble starting on last night, but I think I figured out the problem), along with other things like reapplying for grad school, writing other projects, editing a friend's novella, looking for jobs, and so forth.

So y'know... LIFE got in the way this time.

The guy looks like a young Jonathan Lethem... XD

*meme does not belong to me*

Mein Gott, everyone...

Vienna Teng's new album is absolutely epic. I just want everyone to know that and then go buy it (or go stream it here).

DO IT NOW.

My reaction to listening to the album for the first time...

Album of 2013, motherf***ers! I effing call it!

*meme does not belong to me*

One Giant Ramble About Writing and Public Discourse

Reading this blog post about a reviewer and author trading words made me really think about two things. 

One: I've been meaning to read this series, I have the first one on my Nook.

Two: Sweet holy everything, Mr. Aarnovitch, while I didn't find your response bad, you should've taken your advice you wrote on the first line and not engage. 

~

As a budding writer, I fear becoming so defensive about my work that I am horrid to whatever fans I end up having. I don't want to do that. If you read my book and don't like it, then there you go. And fans, don't defend my "honor" or whatever. If someone doesn't like it, let them be. They have gone through the same trouble as you have and read the book, but didn't get similar feelings like you did. Leave them be. And I don't mind either way how someone feels. If they threaten me with violence, on the other hand, the gloves freaking come off. But that's less "my writing" and more "my person", which I consider more viable and worth defending.

I have, in the past, been very defensive about my writing (even on here, why? I ask myself). Since I've done a lot of growing up, I realized that I could've handled it all better and now with hindsight, know what to do. Just take the criticism, be civil in response, and wrap up this burrito before it gets too stuffed. Plus, there are ways to be engaging in discussions, even controversial ones. But people invest in feelings over facts (I've been guilty of this in the past) and it clouds judgment. I prided myself in being able to engage in hard topics without losing my grip, but I have failed many times. I now know better. 

I've read an argument that once the book is published, it no longer belongs to the author... I agree somewhat, but disagree with it more. It still belongs to the writer as a creative work and copyright. Now if those who said this meant more of an interpretative matter, then I see what they're getting at. Death of the author is alive and well, hur-hur. But if the author done effed up real bad, there is nothing wrong with pointing out the wrongs. That's why readers are important assets. They keep the authors from getting too big for their britches. Well, some writers anyway. (*cough*LaurellKHamiltion*cough*)

But reviewers and readers, I ask you this: if you interpret something one opposite way when the writer meant another, why does that make your opinion more right? Back in 2011, Bitch Magazine posted a list of 100 YA books and got some flak for featuring a few titles (I haven't read those three but I want to one of these days) that didn't explicitly address the problems with rape culture. The books instead showed them in a "this is something that happens and here's how the characters feel about it". No side comments of "rape culture is bad, okay?", which I would find patronizing (but some people want that, what?). Any decent human being would draw to that conclusion without the author's assistance. The author does have a job to present these difficult concepts and show the horrid complexity (like how in Sister Red, one character considers scantily-dressed girls "sluts" and later shows that she was in the wrong!) Yet, the mere fact that the first event happened, don't recommend the book? Uhm, okay. By that logic, don't read any book. Did you know that everyone comes into the world knowing everything? And if you don't know something is wrong, everything needs to be spelled out for you? Good Lord, no wonder feminism get some flak for being educated to the point of arrogance.

I do think that trigger warnings would've been a good idea (on the list, in this case), since there are folks who get seriously upset about depictions of violence (whether subtle or explicit), but to remove the titles and offer alternatives just because a few people had grievances? I didn't know a few people had that kinda power. With that in mind, I declare Fifty Shades of Grey unreadable crap and should be banned everywhere!*

Or you can read what John Scalzi* and Abigail Nussbaum said about the whole Bitch thing and not read my words, since they wrote all that in the heat of the mess, and here I am, reflecting over two years later.

~

*I'm being entirely sarcastic here, I don't think the books of the Fifty Shades series should be banned, but I stand by the "unreadable crap" part. People should be able to access the book and draw their conclusions. Even spark discussion on BDSM in mainstream culture!

*Seriously, I love this guy. I need to read his books very soon. He won a Hugo recently!

Reflections on Being a Smarty-Pants

Ever since I was a kid, I never believed my own hype. I had people tell me that I was smart, even my kindergarten teacher had me tested for eidetic memory (which resulted in a "borderline" result) and I later ended up in the Gifted and Talented program in my school. Most teachers loved me, would cite me as an example of a good student, even though I wasn't always a straight-A student. One undergrad professor said that I "asked questions like a graduate student", while another cited my creative writing as "a breath of fresh air". My father even said that I was "one of the most intelligent people [he] knows".

What did I really think about myself? Wow, people's standards for intelligence have DROPPED if I'm considered part of that.*

But, like I just said, I never believed my own hype. In all honesty, I thought people were lying to me*. I always got the impression that if you were "smart", you had to be very careful how you presented yourself. If you were too much of a smarty-pants, there goes your chances of having a romantic partner or even friends! You would be the wet blanket, that person who always corrects everyone and brings down the party mood. Nobody enjoys your fact-spewing or your unusual references to literature almost no one reads. Big deal. Be like everyone else, smarts are not a good thing to have. You could alienate people.

And when did I start to believe my own hype? Believe it or not, my second therapist was the one. She was discussing some sort of concept about life stages. Once she was done explaining it to me, she asked if I wanted her to clarify anything. I said no, I thought she explained it well enough. To my shock, she revealed that I was one of the few patients she had where she didn't have to explain the concept further. That's when I thought holy crap, we just met and she thinks I'm smart. If this complete stranger thinks that, everyone else I know and love were right all along.**

I now do believe my own hype, but I don't let it get to my head. The praise I have received from family, friends, and many others make sense to me now. My approach to intelligence in general has remained the same: it is always changing, never be afraid to learn, and don't be afraid to be smart. I want my smarts to be used for good and nothing but good things. I don't want to make people feel stupid.

Lemme put it this way, if I throw a huge word out there and you want to know the definition, I will be more than happy to tell you.

*Man, I can be a real dick. Damn...

**I hate to say that it took a complete stranger to confirm what everyone else has been saying all along. But I want to be honest, even if it hurts (well, me in this case). To those that I know and love, I'm sorry that I didn't believe you. As you've seen, I can be a hard-headed jackass.

And...

the job hunt continues.

:-/

I need to rethink my strategies on this business, y'all.

Small update

I had the interview yesterday. To summarize, I think it went well. Dunno what else to do other than wait... well, actually live my life and apply for other jobs. For starters.

Make doctor appointments, eat, sleep, write, read, and other sorts of various human and adult things.

So if you excuse me, I got to go be an adult.

Apparently.


Cyanide & Happiness @ Explosm.net

And now for something completely different...

I have a job interview tomorrow for a neighborhood periodical. I got the call for an interview the same day I wrote my entry on the worries I had on the job searching. Funny, huh?

I'll let y'all know how it goes. And yeah... just like with all past, present, and future jobs, I do not discuss specifics here for a myriad of reasons (both privacy and personal ones). I hope y'all understand.

Hope you (see: those who are currently looking for a job also) have the same good luck as I do. We all need it.