Going For It (or: Waiting on Others Is Not A Good Idea)

Earlier this year I mentioned that I was going to do Camp NaNoWriMo with my sister, but as it got closer, it became apparent that this wasn't going to happen. My sister changed her mind, I was really looking forward to what she was thinking of writing, and I got swept up in the job hunt and working on my own writings.

As the month of June comes to an end, the month we would've done Camp NaNoWriMo, I realized something very important: if I want to do something, why do I wait on others to join me? Oftentimes, I do it because I want my loved ones to join in all the fun. The other reason, sometimes, I hate doing things alone. I still find it weird to go to the movies or eating at a restaurant or even going to a concert alone (though I've done these many times solo). I have said to others before that I don't mind doing a lot of things alone, but there are times I do feel like a hypocrite (like now).

But why do I fret about being forever alone? I am not in the least! I have friends I stay in touch with and I have a very strong relationship with my parents and little sister. We are just independent people with different schedules and things to do. And knowing me, the moment I do find people that will join me in the fun, I'll start wishing for the days when I did everything alone (ye gods, self, make up your damn mind!).

Right now, it's finding the balance to do what I love alone and doing it with my loved ones. It's only a matter of doing.

Whether I do NaNoWriMo with a bunch of peeps this year or go see Stop Making Sense alone next month, I'll figure it out one of these days. Or at least, get a general idea.

~~

Side note: I'm currently reading the archives of Susannah Conway's excellent blog. I absolutely love her work and look forward to getting a copy of her book one of these days!

So...

I woke up with a draining, sore right ear. Just great. That's usually a sign of a cold in the making for me. Or perhaps, self who oozes with optimism, something I can tackle before it turns into a sickness kaiju. But I hadn't been sick in over seven months, so I guess it's my turn (I usually get sick at least once a year, rarely does it cause me to miss work, unless it's surprise bronchitis).

As for writing, I was on a roll the first two days, but wow... exhaustion from work and the pain in my left heel were enough to drive me to bed and rest up the days I had off. I'm beginning to see an association with this. All I want to do is relax away the pain and watch ASMR videos (yes, I think I actually have this, more on this another day). While relaxing and resting up from the pain are great ideas, it doesn't help me get anything done. I need to find a way to work through the exhaustion and pain so I don't get sidelined like that again.

I could do all my writing before I go to work, but there is no guarantee* of that, since I usually do other things (y'know, like an ACTUAL PERSON), like various household chores. So it's becoming a matter of balance. And here I sit, while there are writers who raise children or juggle multiple jobs. What the hell is my excuse? Pain? Procrastination? I don't know. I need to find out more before I can make a judgement call.

On the lighter side of things, I lost four pounds! Watching my portions and snacking less has really helped so much. Four down, thirty-six to go!

See ya later, peeps! May the weekend be good to you.

~~

*One day, I'll make it my life's mission to spell this damn word correctly.

*not bothering with this*

As per usual, life took over and I avoided doing things like creative work and even fun things like writing on here. But as I get a handle on it, I realize that I can make time to do the things I want to do and love to do so I can feel like each day has some meaning to it.

Alright, enough of my nonsense, here's some of what I've been up to these days:

• Job search is going okay. No return calls or invites for interviews. But after a series of events that I won't go into here (due to privacy), I'm more determined than ever to find something, even if it's part-time.

• Borrowing too many library books, but eventually settled down. Currently reading Finding Your Element. 

• Since all the Exxon gas stations in my town have become 7-11s, I've been buying too many Slurpees and bags of cheese curls. I regret nothing.

• Thanks to reading The Element, I realized that I actually have some hobbies that make me content. I just need to concentrate on those instead of trying to find new ones.

• OMG y'all, Stop Making Sense is going to have a special screening in Austin next month. *fangirlism intensifies* 

• Been actually writing. Holy Moses, and it's going well. And I need to do it more often. *dumbass*

That's about it. Uhmm... here, have Ray sum up my feelings about life as of today.

And a Geoff. Until next time... later, peeps!