NaNoWriMo 2016: Dammit

 Well... uhm... okay look, this time it did not go as planned. I actually had a good start the first week or so. Kinda like last year, where I was thrown off by illness and the starting of my new job, but I was able to make a comeback that I was quite proud of.

Not this time, sadly.

basically me by month's end

First off, I will be blunt and say that Trump becoming the president-elect bummed me out something serious. I mean, what the hell do you do when you did as much as you could to make sure the asshole didn't get elected and he "won"? It turns out I wasn't the only one, there were a lot of writers I followed on Twitter that were depressed. Even Stephen King had to take a break from Twitter.

Then slowly but surely, more people I followed revealed they were upset about what happened. They were concerned for family and friends, angry at those who voted and/or were reacting by being horrible human beings (well, more so than usual), and wanting to do something good (I promise I'll address this more in an upcoming entry on what I'm thinking about doing...).

Tweets after the election were outpourings of love and awareness, even a few speaking to those who created art to get ready and be more empowered to create more than ever. In dark times such as these, art will flourish, speak for the voiceless, and bring us a measure of joy when we think there is none left. It was those tweets that got me to think of coming back to the projects and also to do NaNoWriMo every year until otherwise indicated (I was thinking of calling this time as my last).

While I did not return to the projects, I learned a valuable lesson: do not do multiple projects during NaNoWriMo. Just focus on one! I ran into a similar issue in 2014, but it didn't sink in until this time.

actual footage* of me trying to write later in the month...
*not actual footage

After somewhat recovering from post-election malaise, I got smacked with an awful, ass-kicking head and chest cold. It was a perfect storm of WTF that took up most of my last days as a twenty-something. The cold delayed my initial appointment to get my tattoo, which was on the 18th (it changed to the 22nd). On top of all that, I also got so wicked drunk that I was violently ill for most of the night (also learned watching Interstellar drunk is not a good idea, despite that it was a fantastic movie). Needless to say that November was not a month in my favor.

But now empowered to keep creating, I vow to keep doing NaNoWriMo every year and to get back to my project (in this case, Dolls) next month so it can be done by New Year's Eve. Despite the setbacks (aw, that's cute, "setbacks" is being nice...), I did get over 15K on Dolls and it's getting close to being finished. So not all was lost nor underachieved.

Bottom line is that whenever craziness throws lemons at you, make lemonade and not invite craziness to your awesome lemonade brunch 'cause it can go f*** itself.

And just as quickly...

The interview that I had yesterday, the high I was riding from doing a good job... crashed and burned when, only several hours after the interview, I got an email saying "nope, you ain't getting nothing from us *trollface*"

Hey, Ray, my main man, can ya sum up my feelings for me in one funny .gif?

Thanks, I knew I could count on ya.

P.S.: But seriously peeps, I knew I goofed on some parts, which likely cost me the final offer. I now know what to do when the next interview happens. But also, the last person that interviewed me was a tough nut to crack.

Calling it now

I can't finish The Prince of Tides for NaNoReMo for two reasons:

1) procrastinated on it

2) the dialogue makes me want to whip out my red pen and edit it (I mean, damn!)

One common criticism I get on my writing is my take on dialogue. Totally fine, I've been working on it. Conroy makes me look like a stellar literary conversationalist.

So, I have a new goal: finish the eleven books I've been reading right now (including Just Kids) before the end of the year. The Prince of Tides can just go sit in the corner and think about what it's done to dialogue in fiction.

And stay there until I deem it time.

An absence and social anxiety

I've been doing a horrible job keeping up with this blog. But it's not just that, I haven't written a thing (other than Tumblr blogs, but those are only twice a week). I've also lapsed on my reading.I only give myself enough time to surf the Web and do other random things, instead of things I enjoy doing. By day's end, I realize that I haven't done anything productive. I still haven't sent out a resume and cover letter for a potentially awesome job yet. I have to send in my chance before it goes away from me!

~

I had plans on checking out a local art show, see a few friends and all that, but after napping and assessing my overall mood; decided not to go at the last minute. I hate to do that, I really do, but sometimes getting up and going somewhere social takes a lot of effort for me. Not that I don't want to see friends, no no no! It's just... social events are really hard for me. I'm trying to get better at it, but sometimes it's harder if my mood is lower than usual. So, I'm very sorry to those that were expecting me. Whenever it happens again, I'll go.

~

I'm reading books on how to handle social situations, so I can quit being so damn scared of them. And also, how to watch and fix my moods. So dear friends, you'll be seeing more of me in the future.

No thank you, I don't want your pity. If you want to do anything, root for me. Because hey, I never thought I would ever stop biting my nails and I did.

And because fails are bound to happen...

My sister chastised me on Facebook (where my blog posts RSS their way over to) that I forgot several Monty Python skits.

So whoops, here we go:

And actually, she said this was her favorite: "Upperclass Twit of the Year" - a damn hilarious one.

"Poofy Judges" - this is my sister's other favorite one.

"Giant Hedgehog" - it was this running gag throughout this one episode, so it may not be as funny out of context...

I apologize for this mistake. Those responsible have been sacked.

Just to let y'all know...

I cannot finish Bellefleur by the end of November. In fact, probably doing NaNoReMo this time was a bad idea.

I have a new deadline: finish by December 15th.

So, I'm calling it. Sis, best of luck with Dostoevsky.

/quick note

It's official: I fail.

Utterly, completely, never-has-there-been-so-much fail. Okay, here's the thing. And man, I apologize in advance for sounding like such a whiner.

I have managed to get zilch done.

I'm still (!) working on the story about the girl falling for Piscean guys. I have given myself until Columbus Day to finish it. Well, guess what's in over 24 hours and what hasn't been finished yet?

Atop that, I have a paper for Women and Lit that is about 80% finished and yet it feels like it's made of concentrated idiocy. It's due Monday.

My sickness persists... in a dry cough that has pulled a chest muscle. I wish I was kidding.

I haven't finished my readings and it continues to get worse, piling up to Leaning Tower of Pisa-like extravagance.

~

These are the times that I wish time can be halted just so I can catch up. But when should I just give up and let it go? Go ahead and fall over, fail a little? Not that this would be deserving of me, but an eventual outcome.

Perhaps I should suck it up and make a schedule.

Either way, man, I gotta do more than laze around on the Internet.

~

ETA: On a lighter note, check out my favorite song at the moment.

WWWHHHYYY!?!?!

Read here.

First Radiohead and now Death Cab for Cutie? Why do you do this, Twilight series? Why?!

Speaking of things related to the books, Mute Math and Muse are releasing new albums. Not gonna lie, I totally dug Mute Math's "Spotlight", which was for the movie.

Also, Muse did some crazy thing to promote their new album, by presenting (little by little) parts of one of the songs from the album. WMG, you'll let us embed it?! Why, shucks. Thanks.



Not gonna lie here, either. This song sounds pretty cool. I might have to buy the new album.

*facepalm*

I have no issue with people discovering said bands through the books. I have an issue with those who only listen to the featured songs and nothing else.

Make like a tree and branch out, people! Branch! *flails arms like a crazy person*

Some random things and an update...

Apparently, as I just discovered reading old journal entries... February 20th, 2005 is the first instance of me using the moniker "crazy lady writer". I would go on to write sometimes-dumb-and-sometimes-clever points between "crazy" and "lady writer" as a signature.

E.G.: my personal favorite "the crazy 'I wish procrastination didn't exist' lady writer" XD
Ain't it have always been the truth, eighteen-year-old self?

~

Journal-keeping was fun on the computer, but quit after October 2006 (I think). Doing it with pen and a journal kept my handwriting well-tuned and plus, my laptop was made for writing novels, not silly journal entries.

Man, I could be a whiner in my journals. Then again, I can count how many times I acted just so on this blog. Madeleine L'Engle said something along the lines that journals were meant for that, and that there is no shame. But she noted that it was a private journal set aside for that purpose. So, yeah. All bloggers (from the crazy message-board lands of Livejournal to the untamed wilderness that is Wordpress) are totally listening to that advice. /sarcasm

And hey! I'm guilty of this too.

~

After completing Blues and "wasting" (i.e.: playing The Sims 3 and finishing The Bloody Chamber, of course) two days with no writing, I'm stuck in the sad conundrum of

What the Hell to Write Next

I had considered an old idea that I tried writing last year, but failed due to a fun onslaught of anxiety. There is also writing a short story every week. For every three stories I complete to a first draft, I get a cookie (okay, not a cookie, but a book). The other idea was to write four novellas for a whole novel-like thing (like Different Seasons by Stephen King, which is where I got the idea from).

I have no idea what to do. So, for now, it remains unknown. So, my sabbatical will last a little while longer, on account I have no fricking idea how to proceed from here.

Dammit.