Working Hard for What You Got

So, thanks to my dad crunching some numbers and helping me out with some expenses, I have a budget to follow. The biggest reason for this push to save money is well because... I want to move out by year's end. And also, my parents are gearing up to make a one-way trip to Arkansas, where they plan to retire and live out their remaining years. They want to get all that ready by next spring, so one of the big things that needs to happen is... me leaving. So yeah, I have a fire under my butt now.

I also got a fire under my butt concerning my job. My scorecard wasn't looking all that great (in fact, it's plain bad) despite that I have the customer service skills and I have a good handling of the material back from training. But it was hard for me to secure payments since I was getting too scared. And this fear could cost me all this if something wasn't done. But thanks to the kindness of a co-worker, I have gotten much better. In fact, we anticipate my scorecard being the best it's been next month. But honestly, I don't think I would've gotten even to where I am right now without my co-worker's help and generosity. So thank you, dear co-worker and friend*. (Fun fact: she was also struggling to get better and has now become our team's best performer. So not only did she come from a similar place, but decided to help out her team!) When I asked her what made her want to help me, along with helping a couple others, she said that she couldn't "stand to see people failing and nothing being done about it". Folks, this is what a great co-worker acts like.

So, more than ever, I am learning to work hard for everything I got. I have bills to pay, money to save up, and big decisions to make**. But I am beyond thankful that I have a supportive family and a team of co-workers that want to see me succeed so badly that they're stepping out to show me what got them to where they are.

So, thanks everybody! *all the hugs*

And yeah, reading Psycho-Cybernetics is helping quite a bit too.

~~

*No naming names, y'all. Unless I have permission, of course!
**mostly of the financial variety, thankfully!

~~

ETA: my next post is my 500th, OMG. Honestly, I don't have anything planned, but you never know what could happen. But, heads-up: it could go either way. Awesome thing or weekly update.

~~

And now... a random gif.:

Alrighty, here's the temporary plan...

I am going to post at least once a week on here until I either

a) get a better hold of my time, or

b) give up on the former and do the once-a-week thing

Either way, it makes me sad that I haven't updated on here, or really done much else after that.

My plan is to work on my time management so I can do all the things I love without sacrificing the important things (e.g. chores, making food, sleeping). Wish me luck, you guys.

~

And now, as John Cleese used to say... here's something completely different:

Frustrated Lady Writer Recommends:

Eclipse by Twin Shadow - Twin Shadow, now signed onto a big label (Warner Bros.), makes his major-label debut with a eighties-fused and emotional third album. Favorite tracks: "Turn Me Up", "To the Top", "Eclipse", "Half-Life", and "Old Love/New Love". Probably my favorite of his albums thus far, but Confess was really awesome.

Okay, just to show I'm still here...

I've gotten over the cold that smacked me most of the first week of March, thank God. In the meantime, I've been working at my job trying to improve my performance so I can see what else the place has to offer (I'll be at the six-month mark in April, so hopefully there could be some great things!).

I also finished a short story that, while I wanted to write it, am not sure what to do with it. It's about a young woman having a final showdown with a serial killer that had been stalking her for part of her life. I can already hear the criticism from people asking me why writing about something like this is necessary. Hell, my mom would probably ask the same question. I wonder if Joyce Carol Oates gets that question a lot. (My bet is yes. Yes she does,)

But you know what bugs me the most about the short story? I hate the title. It is made of concentrated "make 'em say ugh".

Fun fact: I wrote about 3K of this while waiting for calls at my job. Hell yeah.

Otherwise...

 that I actually got something done.

Now to give it a better name, edit it, and maybe publish it?  Okay, not sure on the last one.

Where the eff have I been? Well, sick for one.

After the Fleetwood Mac concert (and man alive, the experience alone is worth an entry, which is forthcoming, my lovelies...), I woke up the morning after with a wicked sore throat. Despite that, I took my mom to Waterloo Records, Bookpeople, LUSH, and Whole Foods (the flagship store). She enjoyed the little tour of all the places I love to visit in Austin. We drove home shortly after all that and I pretty much crashed into either bed or my recliner, where I've been since then.

The sore throat very quickly evolved into headaches, a fever, and congestion. Yea, a cold!

Because of the lethargy that hit me like a freight train, along with the rest of the carriage of this fever, I have taken three days off from work (thank God for sick time) so I can recover before going in tomorrow and Saturday. Yikes, hadn't been this sick in a long while. It seems to get me just as the winter season is ending.

So here I am, tempering this cold so I can work the weekend and then rest up more on my days off so I can conquer the rest of this month with fervor!

Isn't it sad that I feel odd about taking sick days when I need it? I feel like I should be at work, even if I can hardly hold my head up and snot is dripping out my nose. But I really don't think I would bring any game to the job, along with spreading the sickness (even though illnesses have been hitting everyone since December).

Even my father, who is usually hardened to this kinda thing, has been shaking off a stubborn flu for almost two weeks now.

So here is a reminder to my readers that I'm still here.

What? You want a title for this?

With the aid of Crystal Journey Candles (thanks to Motivation and Abundance) and nearly-endless glasses of water, I have been busy doing some writing. Well, transcribing.

It counts, shut up.

I've been diligently keeping a pocket Moleskine for over six months, and now a Rhodia notebook, to keep notes for my novel projects. And now, the Rhodia houses about 3K of a short story that I started on last week. Once combined with what I wrote on the computer, I got to about 6K. A few more details and I have a decent first draft.

Sadly, that is the only success story in this so far. The rest of the time I am screaming internally for getting myself into this mess. For now on, once I finish a notebook, I immediately fish for the good stuff and then set it aside.

So if y'all excuse me, I have more fishing to do.

*turns to see stack of Moleskines about five high*

Awww... dammit.

The Best of 2014: The Everything Edition

I know I said I will not do these anymore, and I still stand by that. However, I feel like I should go ahead and talk about the 2014 media experiences I loved. And thus, this will be the last one I’ll ever do on here. The end of an era! And thank Heavens, I was getting tired of this s***.

~~

VIDEO GAMES

Let's kick this off by giving a shout-out to one of the best games I've ever played, bar none, last year. While it wasn't a 2014 release, I want to give it a ton of love: The Cat Lady. It's a point-and-click adventure game that is nothing that you think it is. When I bought it during the Steam sale back in December last year, I was raring for a fun adventure with a cat-loving lady. But whoa, when I started the game up, I was in a complete shock. I finished it in less than two days, it was that engrossing. Not only did this game have a very intense and excellent story, but a solid cast of wonderful characters. It is also *one of the best representations of depression and suicide and how it affects a human being. I wanted to high-five the entire crew for doing such a touchy topic the justice it rightfully deserves. Not once is it romanticized, it's brought to earth and also very metaphorical.

(*I attempted to play Depression Quest long ago and felt it was inadequate in presenting the experience of having depression. However, what happened to the game's creator was pretty awful.)

~~

MOVIES

Okay, y'all know I rarely watch movies. But when I do, I gorge myself in film until I can barely move from my recliner. The only major release I saw last year of note was The LEGO Movie. No, no "awesome" jokes. It was a genuinely good movie that, next to Pacific Rim, is one I look forward to its sequel.

Other films of note:
A Band Called Death (y'all, this was awesome! Too bad they never got big, stupid record industry...)
Blood & Black Lace (I went on a giallo binge late last year and this was my favorite of the bunch)
Tiny: A Story About Living Small (watch to see one of my favorite people talk about her house!)
Jodorowsky’s Dune (oh, if only it was made! *shakes fist to sky*)

~~

TV SHOWS

The only one that matters in 2014: Cosmos: A Spacetime Odyssey. End of story. Next topic.

~~

BOOKS

Alrighty, we'll split by two lists: one for 2014 releases and the other is for older books.

Top 11 Books of 2014:

1. Bad Feminist: Essays by Roxane Gay
2. The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying by Marie Kondo
3. Nochita by Dia Felix
4. Green Girl by Kate Zambreno
5. The Desire Map by Danielle LaPorte
6. Zen Pencils by Gavin Aung Than
7. Shoplifter by Michael Cho
8. The Big Tiny: A Built-It-Myself Memoir by Dee Williams
9. Promise Land by Jessica Lamb-Shapiro
10. MFA vs. NYC: The Two Cultures of American Fiction edited by Chad Harbach
11. Writing Wild by Tina Welling


Top 10 Books Not from 2014:

1. Thunder and Lightning by Natalie Goldberg
2. The Kick-Ass Writer by Chuck Wendig
3. Anger: Wisdom for Cooling the Flames by Thich Nhat Hanh
4. Darkness Visible: A Memoir of Madness by William Styron
5. You Can Buy Happiness (and It’s Cheap) by Tammy Strobel
6. Hangsaman by Shirley Jackson
7. The Case for God by Karen Armstrong
8. Twilight of the Elites by Christopher Hayes
9. Women Food and God by Geneen Roth
10. Amsterdam by Russell Shorto

~~

MUSIC

To make this easier, here are my Top 12 Albums I Absolutely Loved and Want You to Buy:

1. (Tie) In Cold Blood by White Sea and Brill Bruisers by The New Pornographers
2. Taiga by Zola Jesus
3. Run River North by Run River North
4. Too True by Dum Dum Girls
5. Last War by Haley Bonar
6. The Future’s Void by EMA
7. St. Vincent by St. Vincent (hell yeah, get that Grammy, girlfriend!)
8. LP1 by FKA twigs
9. Nabuma Rubberband by Little Dragon
10. Comet, Come to Me by Meshell Ndegeocello
11. Cry is for the Flies by Le Butcherettes
12. Stay Gold by First Aid Kit

~~

So there ya go, two months late, but here it is. And that's the end of these kinda lists from this point out. It's been not fun, so that's why this is the last one. Now, onto other things I rather do instead!

Is This Really the First 2015 Post on Here? Good Lord.

It's been a long time since I last wrote on here. No end-of-the-year lists or anything else. To be honest, I was considering putting the blog on a hiatus or even shutting it down for good. The funny thing is, I am still considering that. I'm not sure what I am doing on here anymore. Now that my time is being, understandably, taken up by my job and whatever else I can squeeze into my free time, I have to make a lot of changes to what I do on a daily basis. I spend less time checking email and other fun websites, I don't even shop that much anymore. I honestly don't have the time.

And now, here comes the big question: should the blog be the next cut? It takes less than a couple of hours a week to write a few entries, schedule them, and be done. But what is it all for? I know I have a scant audience (though, whatever audience I have, I do appreciate you all very much). But is my heart still into it? The answer: honestly, I am not so sure. It's hard for me to gauge right now.

I feel like I'm not putting out any interesting content, more repeating myself about not writing things and wasting time doing things I don't need to be doing. That can get boring after a while. So, I have to give all this a long think. Do I want to continue Musings of a Frustrated Lady Writer? And if I do, should I specialize my content? And if I don't want to continue the blog, do I leave it up as an artifact or delete it? Should I continue business as usual and write whatever I damn well please since this blog is really for me at the end of the day?

And also, let's be real here: if I decide to keep the blog, it's time to call it for the end-of-the-year lists. I may not make one up for 2014 since it's already near the end of February and releasing something now seems pointless. I honestly never enjoyed doing these because I'm not that good at keeping up with current releases and because I am saving up for something REALLY BIG later this year, sadly my book and music purchases have to take the back seat.

And I do mean it: no more end-of-the-year lists regardless of what decision I make. If I find an awesome current release, I'll share it as soon as I experience it.

This is the beauty of writing, my friends: you write what's in your heart and mind. Once you do that, you look it all over and the answer becomes clear.

...

Yeah, I think this blog ain't ready to be retired.