of a writers' organization. Hell yeah! I also registered for a couple of upcoming classes. This has helped me a lot with my confidence as a writer. This shows me that I love the craft and want to learn new things. Even though I still didn't get into my dream grad school, it doesn't mean I shouldn't stop writing or learning more. Yeah, I did get a bit derailed due to that, along with issues of perfectionism.
A note on my perfectionism: it has been something I always struggled with since I was a child. My father was always pushing us to always be prepared. He was also one to always act like he was right. His way or the highway. Needless to say, I internalized it so much that I abandon plans and projects mostly because I'm afraid of screwing up once. That was the bane of my second job at the non-profit. That's why I'm worried about job-hunting, finishing Invisible, even writing on this blasted blog. Every day, I have to tell myself to do it and just let myself goof a few times. How else will I learn, let along finish anything?
Y'know, it's funny. Here I over-prepared on the grad school application and yet, I sent them a story that I wasn't totally feeling and here I am, not a future Michener fellow. I focused my energy on all the wrong things. If I quit worrying about the application and saw that I wasn't feeling the story, I would be preparing to move to Austin and all that jazz. So yeah, it was my own damn fault. I acknowledge that.
Huh, this has gotten me to thinking. And wanting to write. Among other really big things. Gotta go now. I got stuffs to do.
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