What I Would Take 2.0

A while back, over a year ago to be exact, I did my first attempt at The Burning House (where I photographed what I would take in the event of a forthcoming catastrophe). Since time has passed, favorite things have changed. There were things I rather save than others, so some switching around was done. Now I feel that I have a better idea. Or at least, the most current one.

I have no idea... (tw: self-esteem issues regarding fat)

why I think I'm fat. I look at pictures of myself from last year (where I was either the weight I am right now or just a bit less) and I honestly don't get it. If the camera adds ten pounds (whether that's true or not is a whole other kettle of fish), then I actually don't look as bad as I thought. Now, in my family, the weight goes all over the place and not just one specific area of the body. I look like I have some curves (which I do) and that I'm broad-shouldered and built stocky (thank you German heritage!).

On the bright side, at least I haven't gained more weight. Something's going right.

If I was a betting woman, it would be that I drink water now.


I love how despite my thoughts, there is overwhelming evidence to the contrary. Gotta love perspective.

Baby Houses and Other Possible Avenues of Home Ownership

For a while, I considered getting a tiny house, or as I like to call them "baby houses". Don't know what a tiny house is? Check out this excellent definition from Wikipedia.

It seems like a great idea, downsizing to fit enough into a small space. Besides me and my cat, there would be all the stuff I could feasibly keep in there. The only issue I would have is where would I put the dang house? If it stayed at my parents' place, well why bother? Just live in the house already on the lot! And where else could I put it? I can't begin to consider it.

Sadly, my baby house dreams will remain only dreams. Though it is still fun to waste an hour or two looking at pictures of them.

Despite that, after thinking about it for a long time, I have decided I would rather own than rent. For some reason, I would feel better about it in the long run. It's a long time investment. Also, I have an awesome father that taught me a lot of things regarding home improvement (and then some), so it's not like I'll be completely ignorant on owning and maintaining (thanks Dad!).

The family home is very old, built in the forties, so there are a ton of things that most houses don't have these days (e.g. lead paint, asbestos, natural gas heaters [we still have all the vents for the space heaters throughout the house], giant backyard) so I would have some knowledge of older appliances if I happen to go that route of getting a home older than my parents. Not getting into fixer-uppers though, more like a time-sink than anything.

But that is far into the future. Dunno if the house will be in my current town or somewhere else. Kinda leaving that up in the air right now.

I was mad for a while...

when I read this article by Joyce Carol Oates concerning Lena Dunham (who I SEVERELY dislike with a passion). But after reading it, I realized something. It is the equivalent of

Ms. Oates offers very little to no praise for Ms. Dunham herself, doesn't exhibit any true emotion other than "this is a thing that is happening".

Never mind, not mad anymore. You've been forgiven, Ms. Oates.

*meme does not belong to me*

Addendum to "What I Would Take..."

Okay, I asterisked two items, saying I would explain why I would save them. It's kinda silly (at least for one of them) but y'know...

On with the show!

What I Would Take...

If you're not familiar with The Burning House, go check it out here before reading the rest of this entry (more for clarity's sake than anything).

For a long time, I've always wondered what I would take with me if I had to abandon ship in any form or fashion (I fancy it'll be tornadoes more than anything, they do hit my area of Texas after all...). And so, tonight, I have the answer:

• My cat (not pictured, she never poses for me, LOL)
• Laptop (buried underneath the wallet, etc.)
• Targus laptop bag
• My childhood friends (y'all met them in this entry)
• Meds: birth control and anti-depressants
• The monolith from 2001: A Space Odyssey, mentioned in this entry
• Prospero, the Owl Who Travels*
• A picture of my paternal grandfather, whom y'all met in this entry
• Fountain pens
• External hard drive
• Wallet
• A coal miner statue that was passed down to me from my grandfather (his father was a Tennessee coal miner)
• Rare black-label copy of Silent Hill on the PSX
• Fossil watch, college ring, Claddagh ring (not pictured), and two pairs of earrings (silver feather-like ones that belonged to my late great-aunt and turquoise guitars I got at an anime convention)
• The Bloody Chamber by Angela Carter (Penguin Ink edition)
• Pretty-damn rare promo poster of Fear of Music by Talking Heads* (though folded and not in the frame)
• iPhone (not pictured, since I was using it to take this photo)
• Car keys (not pictured)

I was kinda surprised on what I left out (like my headphones, my electric guitar, and more of my favorite books), but to be honest... this is everything I would rush to get out of the house. All these things I would be beyond devastated if I ever were to lose them. If anything were to happen, God forbid, I could start a new life with all this here. Yeah, even without my books and records and other collectibles... I could start all over again. Or at least, be able to travel with very little.

Yes, there is a hilarious reflection on the framed poster of my whiteboard with all the bumper stickers of various record stores I like to visit whenever I'm in town. It's covering the bottom half of Jerry Harrison. XD

Who and what would you save in the unfortunate event that you had to evacuate your current shelter?

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*I'll talk about why they would be saved in another entry

25 Things You (Likely) Don't Know About Me

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1. I am the only person amongst my friends and family that hated Sucker Punch.

2. I air-guitar left-handed, yet I’m right-handed.

3. My liquors of choice are rum and whiskey. Vodka and tequila, no thanks!

4. I love Peter Gabriel solo more than in Genesis, yet I love Phil Collins in Genesis more than solo. (Bonus Genesis factoid: I prefer the Hackett/Banks/Rutherford/Collins era [Trick of the Tail and Wind & Wuthering]).

5. If I could dress as one musician for my stage costume, I want to dress like Phil Manzanera from Roxy Music’s performance of “Ladytron” on The Old Grey Whistle Test. Those glasses are f***ing awesome.

6. I would love to learn how to play both banjo and bass.

7. According to my friends and family, I’m excellent at gift-giving.

8. I taught myself how to write (in general), braid, and juggle.

9. Before becoming a serious writer; I used to write Looney Tunes and Silent Hill fan fiction as a hobby. And no, none of it was sleazy. Or can be found on the Internet.

10. The books I have successfully recommended to customers are The Buddha in the Attic by Julie Otsuka followed by Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil by John Berendt (5 times for each of them).

11. Thanks to my sister, I’m now a hot tea drinker. My preference is green tea with honey.

12. I became a feminist when I was 21.

13. As of today, I have been published 3 times.

14. I was told once by a creative writing classmate that my writing wasn't good because the language wasn't "profound" nor were the words "12th grade level". Hey buddy, Hemingway on Line 4 for you.

15. I would like to write lyrics for a rock band.

16. If I could travel back into time to see one concert, it would be the entire US Festival in 1982. (Second place goes to Talking Heads in Tokyo, Japan in 1981).

17. Regarding item 16, I have been told by a few that this was an excellent choice.

18. I'm planning to cosplay as the Nostalgia Critic at an anime convention.

19. I am starting to collect nail polishes. God help me.

20. My best friend's upcoming wedding will be the first wedding I will ever go to. And also the first where I am part of the bridal party.

21. I'm pretty superstitious. I believe in wearing and carrying lucky things (like rings and jewelry), looking out for lucky numbers in things (like lotteries), and in omens. However, I don't believe in astrology.

22. When I was a kid, I wanted to be either a meteorologist or an animation director; almost just as bad as I want to be a writer now.

23. I'm really sensitive to the smell of house paint. It makes me gag.

24. I started calling microwaveable bacon "lazy bacon", beginning a trend in my house. My parents even list it as "lazy bacon" on their grocery lists!

25. I have named all my fountain pens after British writers. The Pelikan is Angela (after Angela Carter), the Waterman is George (after George Eliot), and the Retro 51 is Brian (after Brian Jacques).

Thoughts on Christmas

It has been a very rough retail season for me so far. It has been very hard to show some semblance of joy when the ratio of customers to booksellers is 7:1. People keep interrupting me when I'm helping another customer for something that honestly, they could've waited another minute on. Yes, I know you're busy. No, I don't care how busy you are, I really don't. Stop telling me who it's for or why you're buying it, I didn't ask you. Do not get mad when I don't have a certain item, I have no sympathy for someone who waits until the day before to go get something.

That doesn't mean I should be expressing all that in any form or fashion. It doesn't help the situation. I have been really bad about it. They don't care about how I feel and why should I expect them to care? And my co-workers feel the same way, so why bother bringing it up? It's preaching to the converted.

For the last five years, retail has made me hate Christmas. I used to enjoy it, the togetherness and sharing of grand feasts. The gifts were a bonus. I love giving and receiving gifts. The thing is, I enjoy it when I have the freedom to do it, i.e. doing it on my own volition. With that attitude, I enjoy giving more and feel that the gifts have more love put into them. That's why I love giving random gifts to my sister. That's why I enjoy Secret Santa (which is voluntary). I don't like being forced because... well, because it's Christmas, deal with it.

Of course, people are not shopping with all that in mind. It becomes pressure, that drive to make sure that everyone you know (including the distant cousin you only met once at the family reunion down at the coast) gets something. No gift cards, that is considered thoughtless! These days, people do appreciate "free" money to use at their favorite store. And to be honest, I always hated that "gift cards are thoughtless" business.

Growing up, my parents wanted to instill within me and my little sister a sense of gratitude. They encouraged relatives to buy us only two gifts per kid, just so we could enjoy each gift (unless it honestly sucked. Nana, I'll never forget those McDonald's gift certificates. Especially after Papa got me a Barbie doll bed and my sister a remote-controlled fire engine the same year). Of course, my parents were looked upon as freaks. Over time, the gifts evolved into just money, which is fine.

"But Frustrated Lady Writer", you say to the screen, "why are you letting all this get to you? Eff those who are rushing around and partaking in greed, don't let it all get to you." I know, I know. But it still does. I'm hyper-sensitive by nature, always been. I can easily become overwhelmed by large crowds and cacophonies of noise. I have avoided malls and most shopping centers during Christmas for this reason. I have since been able to attend concerts, but it can still be overwhelming.

Either way, this year, I'm spending Christmas with my best friend and her family. My folks are out of town for Christmas camping (an annual tradition). I'm perfectly fine with this. It all will change as I move away and go to graduate school, but always with things to do on my mind.

Whatever you have going on during these holidays, may you be warm, well-fed, and loved.

Something more of substance

I have to maintain discipline and update this blog every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday; even if I find myself at a loss for words. Most of the time, as the last entry shows, my mind would be occupied on other matters. Right now, I'm going through my CD collection and deciding which ones should go away. I can save the money for other things, or just save it anyway.

It turns out that my second job has come to an end, which makes sense. Things happened, both good and bad, and it made sense for it to come to a close. I doubt they will need me when the fall season arrives, I have a sneaking feeling. By then, I'm hoping, that I have a new job somewhere else. A full-time one with benefits and good pay, or better than what I'm getting right now. Leave the bookstore behind and move on, become one of those professionals I read about in the Brat Pack novels (sans cocaine, of course).

I'm sure that this is not unique. Maybe in presentation of words. The spirit is prevalent.

Love to those searching for better employment, like me. May it come soon.